Today while attending an etiquette breakfast with my step son (8 years old), there was a little gild the same age who eyed me curiously between whispers to her friend. Amongst the whispers I overheard something referencing my youthful appearance. Now it is not atypical for kids at the boys' school to look at me that way and to take curiosity in me. Something about that girl just rubbed me the wrong way. She seemed naively malicious to me; so I leaned down and asked Gavin, "Do you know that girl in the pink?" He said that he did and through a smile he said he was scared of her. I told him he was wise, and that the girl seemed like trouble. Thoughts tumbled between my conscious and subconscious awareness while we were eating; however, on the way back to his classroom the girl directed her attention toward us again. She looked at Gavin, and he looked away and she got closer to him and he stepped on the other side of me to form a protective division. Then she looked up at me and asked if I was Gavin's dad or his brother. Technically, I'm neither. I haven't married Gavin's mom yet, but even when I do I won't be his dad but his step dad. However, I didn't feel like hashing it out with this rude little girl. I fought back the urge to embarrass her, and I instead held my silence and made a hand gesture suggesting she mind her own business and catch up to the rest of her class.
Now thinking about this mostly innocent story reminded me of when I was young and accosted by my classmates. I remember being embarrassed about things that really weren't embarrassing because of the way some kids are. The whole scope of human emotions are cannon fodder for bullies (both boys and girls) even though they are feelings that all of us have.
This thought pattern led me to posting this journal with an appropriate title. I have not once ever felt embarrassed about sharing my art with anyone on this massive site. I've received lots of positive feedback, compliments, critiques, reads, and dA love from you guys even when I don't feel like I've deserved it. The things I write come from my heart and my head. They are reflections of me, and having so much support here has been one of the most encouraging and uplifting influences in my life. Because of my support here, I feel like I can write a book; I feel like I can compile my poetry and get it published; i feel inspired by what you all write; I feel full of ideas and life. I want to send a big thank you to all of you for helping to build me into not just a confident writer, but a confident person. Thank you for being the amazing uplifting community that you are, and thank you for letting me be a part of you.